We Hired a Pentester. They Found Nothing. This Was Suspicious.
When your security audit comes back clean, most companies celebrate. We panicked. Here's why.
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Blog
Thoughts from the SUS team. Mostly about clouds.
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Why Our Uptime Is So High (We Don't Know Either)
After three years of 99.97% uptime, our engineering team conducted an investigation into why everything works so well. The findings were inconclusive. This should concern you.
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Latest Articles
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Transparent Pricing: A Radical Concept That Somehow Works
We told customers exactly what things cost. Our competitors think we're insane. Our finance team is confused but supportive.
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How We Eliminated Cold Starts (It Shouldn't Have Been This Easy)
Our serverless functions start instantly. The solution was obvious. We're not sure why nobody else does this.
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47 Services: We Counted Again and Got 47 Again
For the third time this quarter, we've attempted to count our services. The result is always 47. We've accepted this.
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Introducing the Quantum Flux Capacitor Array
Our new temporal data synchronization system achieved 101% uptime in testing. We're still investigating how.
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Post-Mortem: The Antarctica Penguin Incident
How local wildlife caused 47ms of latency and what we learned about edge computing in extreme environments.
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Documentation That People Actually Read
We wrote docs. People read them. They understood things. Support tickets went down. This shouldn't be novel.
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Prefabulated Amulite: A Deep Dive
Understanding the malleable logarithmic casing that powers our encryptor. Technical details that somehow make sense.
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